Pain Is Your Friend


We all have known pain, it’s really not a stranger to most people. The only thing that might be different is how it chooses to get to us. There are several degrees of pain and depending on who, it may mean different things and come in different forms. The definition of pain to the poor man is certainly different from what it means to his rich counterpart. The general fact however, is that we all feel pain in some way. The most important thing remains how we choose to deal with it in whatever form it comes.
I have always known who I am as a person. Most people think I am a sadist, I purposely never see the bright side of anything. Whatever situation I find myself, I always prefer to assess the negative outcomes before weighing whatever positives might result from it. I have always chosen to frown instead of pretend to be pleased when things turn out sour. I have always preempted pain and so never really feel bad when it finally manifests itself. To many, you are what you constantly think about. To some, the reason why I am plagued by pain is because I think of it a lot. I find their assessment flawed because I have never once treated people how I feel my pain should make me treat them. Continue reading


Dear Ben…

Dear Ben,

Its amazing how time flies, it seems like it was only just yesterday you decided to embark on that trip, you had stars in your eyes that morning. It had been a really bumpy road for us, all those times when you would lie with your head on my lap, sharing your dreams and hopes, listening to me while I talked of my passions and aspirations. It was you who taught me to dream, to believe in anything I set my heart on. We would sit and soak garri, with suya, hoping that one day everything would be alright. I remember the day you came back from work with the news. I was beyond elated…. All I could think of was the smile on your face, the joy you exuded at the thought of being offered a new position at your place of work. Hmm….. Continue reading

What Ever Happened To Patience And Tolerance?

ImageRecently I was watching an old re-run of the popular TV Show, The Jerry Springer Show, and I even though for the most part I was heavily amused by the fighting and pathetic display by some guests on the show, something got to me. A good number of the cases that were brought on the show had to do with cheating partners; Continue reading

Is It Debasing To Compromise?

ImagePeople do a lot of things for a whole lot of reasons; most times, we engage in certain activities not because we really would like to normally, but because we have found ourselves in a position where things are literally beyond our control. The truth is the most of what we see in the world today have been formed by one form of compromise or the other. 

To some, the art of compromise is a debasing concept, it is seen as a big blow to ones ego when the decision is made to suck up to someone or something just because we want to make things work. In human relations, compromise seems to be the biggest cause of issues within the social convention. Continue reading

Love in hurtful places


I read a lot of stuff over the internet, about Love and relationships, about what the chemistry between a man and a woman should be like, and a host of other topics. In all the material I have read, and all the “messages” I have been exposed to (especially the ones by Nigerian authors), I have noticed that everyone hides from the truth. A vast majority of writers who “specialize” in matters of the heart tend to completely remove themselves from the “situation” they explore. There is a sense of detachment on the part of most authors that makes one who might really be in need doubt their analysis and recommendations.
Continue reading