I recently (yes, just recently) fell in love with Simply Three’s cover version of Hozier’s ‘Take Me To Church. Listening to the overwhelming sounds of the cellos and violins actually made me look up the lyrics of the actual song. It’s a powerful song that sort of describes how I have felt these past few days of 2016. A lot has happened already, and I usually feel overwhelmed whenever I play the song. I always remember to be grateful for music, because without it, i’d be truly dead on the inside.
For me 2016 started on quite a low, then high note. I was so happy, thinking I would get a fresh start away from mistakes that had plagued me from years before, but they came pouring in as strong as ever, almost shattering me, and further proving that indeed a part of me had really died. Continue reading
We all have known pain, it’s really not a stranger to most people. The only thing that might be different is how it chooses to get to us. There are several degrees of pain and depending on who, it may mean different things and come in different forms. The definition of pain to the poor man is certainly different from what it means to his rich counterpart. The general fact however, is that we all feel pain in some way. The most important thing remains how we choose to deal with it in whatever form it comes.
I have always known who I am as a person. Most people think I am a sadist, I purposely never see the bright side of anything. Whatever situation I find myself, I always prefer to assess the negative outcomes before weighing whatever positives might result from it. I have always chosen to frown instead of pretend to be pleased when things turn out sour. I have always preempted pain and so never really feel bad when it finally manifests itself. To many, you are what you constantly think about. To some, the reason why I am plagued by pain is because I think of it a lot. I find their assessment flawed because I have never once treated people how I feel my pain should make me treat them. Continue reading
For anyone who reads all the nonsense I post, I am sure it is not difficult to tell that this blog is a direct channel for me to put my depression in writing. Yea, I think it is high time I just accept the fact that I am truly depressed, as day in day out I find myself spending more time ruminating on the bad than the good that has happened to me in my journey here so far. Continue reading
Put that phone down, the internet will not stop functioning without you, the scandals on twitter will not lose their momentum without your handle numbering every sub, tweets will trend, whether you are there or not, but will your family always be there? I think not.
It’s a Sunday, and I am here on my bed thinking of how best to pass today’s message across. Not too distant is the sound of praise and worship being sung in the two churches close to where I live, reminding me that I am perhaps in the wrong place at the moment. Growing up, you dared not decide not to go to church, I mean, you would have to be down with a highly contagious ailment to get to skip church.
Let me begin this post by saying what I always think at the beginning of a post but never type out, “How do I begin this rant?”, there, typed it. Well, technically I have already started to rant, I mean, I have already typed a full sentence, okay, enough of the small talk, let me get to the purpose of this rant.
I am fully aware of myself at the point of posting this blog, so if you somehow stumble on this and find I talked about you, you were in my thought.
As the tears roll down my cheeks I try to remind myself that I had before now made a silent vow never to speak of all things connected to my feelings ever again; I recall the silent determination in my heart when I muttered the words to myself, “never again”. Sometimes we make resolutions that we never see to fuition, set goals we may never achieve and have dreams that may never come to life.