For anyone who reads all the nonsense I post, I am sure it is not difficult to tell that this blog is a direct channel for me to put my depression in writing. Yea, I think it is high time I just accept the fact that I am truly depressed, as day in day out I find myself spending more time ruminating on the bad than the good that has happened to me in my journey here so far.
Anyway, while nursing my latest disappointment in the human race, I found myself thinking about images and likeness. I will explain what I have been thinking in a few sentences below.
Born and raised a Catholic, I was taught very early in Catechism that we human beings are made in the likeness and image of God. If I were to translate that literally now, it will mean that we humans are in fact gods. Since we are made in the image and likeness of God, we are a direct (I suppose) reflection of God. My dilemma now is what to do with the negative aspects of human behavior. If humans are a reflection of what God seemingly is, does this mean that God is evil? I think the average person can relate to the fact that there are indeed more evil than good people on earth. In fact, sometimes the way I see it, it is those who do the most evil that get the best out of life. To be utterly good is to suffer in no small measure and to lose out on the “goodies” life has to offer.
In the middle east these days it is clear that a good number of people who reside in that region have no regard for human life. Heads are separated from bodies almost everyday, people are shoved off buildings at the same frequency, and life is more like something out of Dante’s description of the 9 rings of hell than actual life. Now I wonder, are these not humans creates by God? Do their actions reflect who God is? I have an analogy I think of whenever these questions come to me.
Parents are genetic contributors to the behavioral patterns and growth of a child, as such, growing up, the child depicts certain traits inherent in his father or mother. However on his/her way in life, the child picks up several habits that go on to define who he/she is as an individual, and later an adult. Now this may go certain ways, the parent is to serve as a guide to ensure that the child turns out well regardless of the influences picked up. Now, religion has us believe that we are all children of God. We are all borne from the same divine source, how then does this explain the wicked nature of some human beings? Is God wicked? Does God delight in torturing others physically, psychologically and emotionally? Does God not believe in loyalty? Does God not deserve the undiluted trust many Christians and others who believe in him place in him?
Yes, I am a troubled soul. I am so much concerned with the way people treat people, and so these questions plague me. I will acknowledge the fact that the devil does exist, and to him/her is attributed the bad traits and actions inherent/shown in/by humans. But we must not forget that even the devil was of heaven before he was cast down. Who influenced the devil? Where did the trait of deceit and manipulation come from? How do you explain the fact that in an atmosphere where all was “holy” and “pure”, an angel suddenly decided to go rogue?
I am a christian, well maybe not a strong one, but I am. I just do not understand why so many bad people exist in the world if we are all made in the image and likeness of God. I have been unfortunate enough to meet people who carry themselves like they have no iota of goodness in them. People who cannot be trusted with the minutest of things. People who set out to make others feel worthless and terrible. People who have no regard for anyone and how they feel. People who do all the good they can to make only themselves happy regardless of the pain it causes others. People who kill to settle scores. People who let their parents die because they want to fulfill their basest desires. People who will swear an oath even before God himself and still go against it.
Is God like the humans he has created? Is God a disillusioned and depressed soul like me? Am I still god material?
In death, all man’s questions are answered. I guess I will find my answers someday.