Its amazing how time flies, it seems like it was only just yesterday you decided to embark on that trip, you had stars in your eyes that morning. It had been a really bumpy road for us, all those times when you would lie with your head on my lap, sharing your dreams and hopes, listening to me while I talked of my passions and aspirations. It was you who taught me to dream, to believe in anything I set my heart on. We would sit and soak garri, with suya, hoping that one day everything would be alright. I remember the day you came back from work with the news. I was beyond elated…. All I could think of was the smile on your face, the joy you exuded at the thought of being offered a new position at your place of work. Hmm…..
Ben, I called everyone…. everyone in my family had to hear that finally, the man whom I loved and adored, the one whom everyone thought was incapable of getting a good job, had finally gotten one! At a reputable firm at that!.
Baby, I was happy for you, above all, I was proud of you… Finally we were going to have enough money to have that dream wedding we had always dreamed of… I had already began to tell my friends to get ready to buy my aso ebi. You said you needed to travel, you wanted to report at your new position in Abuja, I guess I was too excited about the prospects of finally tying the knots with you that I did not think to suggest that I accompany you; It would have been a better fate for me than having to write this dreadful letter.
I shouldn’t have encouraged you to take that job. I remember when I dropped you at the airport, all I could think to say was “buy me something nice”….How stupid….I should have asked you to make sure you return to me in one piece…. I should have hugged you tightly and kissed you. I should have taken a picture of that smile that always brought warmth to my heart…I should have told you that you were going to be a father soon… maybe you’d have delayed the trip. When I heard the news at the salon I thought…..this must be a joke. I dialed your number all through the afternoon, but it could not be reached. Not knowing what to do, I ran all the way home..yes love, I ran..Turned on the tv in time to see the list of names of those who had died on that flight..that was when it hit me..I stared blankly at the tv screen, the whole world seemed to be spinning at that moment…. Ben, you should have stayed with me, you promised that you were going to be around!!!!!! Why did you have to go so soon? 😥
Each day since that day feels unreal to me, your folks had me see a shrink, he insisted I write you everyday to ease the pain..I don’t know how to explain how i feel.I lost the baby Ben, I am sorry, I was too weak from my grief I made it suffer. We would have been married almost 5months now; I miss you Ben… I miss you…. Please come back.