It is a day of festivities for muslim brothers and sisters world over and I do hope its been a good one so far. This evening I have decided to explore a topic that has played out for so long in my head but has not really found its way out. I think the reason I have held back from writing on this is the cliche nature of the topic, as well as its propensity to bore anyone who reads it; but every dog has its day, so here it is.
What is friendship? I am not really going to bother myself with reeling out a dictionary definition, I am just going to define it in layman’s terms, the way I have felt it, the way it is.
You know those people you can stay without speaking to for months, and still have good chats with whenever you meet up? Those are friends. Those people who do not twist their faces in agony when you are seemingly all up in their space? Those are friends. You know those people who not only remember to talk to you when they need something from you? (Whether its advice on a particular issue or your practical expertise in another), but also remember you when there is practically nothing they need from you? Those are friends. You know that bond you feel when you walk side by side with that guy or girl you have not seen in weeks, yet still laugh and talk like you live together? That is friendship. You know that feeling of anger you have when someone talks bad about someone you hold dear, anger so bad you hush them up and still ensure you are on the same page with your friend? That is friendship.
Now, there might be a whole lot of actions and feelings that connote friendship, but the ones I have listed so far ring true to me. Most times, people fall victim of fake friendships. Fake friendships are the ones borne out of need, the ones that only demand and demand but never give anything in return. Fake friendships are the ones that drain you of all your human kindness, because somehow you have to endure them because you value comradeship more than the person you have dealings with. Fake friendships are the ones where one is envious of another’s progress, but feigns happiness when in truth they talk smack behind their so called friend’s backs because they haven’t had it as good as them. Fake friendships are the ones where they care less about how you live, because they are too busy minding their business. In my opinion, a true friend never “minds their business”. No one is asking anyone to be all up in anyone’s face, but when you are genuinely concerned about people, you reach out. You are not being a friend when you complain about ‘your friend’ to third parties without breathing a word to ‘your friend’. You are not being true to yourself when you smile and laugh and put up fake dps and pms for someone you loathe in secret but pat on the back in public.
The best friendships are defined mostly by what is done and said behind close doors than what is said outside in public glare. This post goes out to all who feel the need to keep fake friends, and those who feel they have to fake friendship to keep certain ‘prospects’ in line, GIVE IT UP! It is by far better to have healthy friendships than a competition in disguise of a friendship. Allow yourself to fall in love with the idea of true friendship, because it breeds peace. Allow yourself to be at peace with the fact that you do not need a thousand fake friends when just 10 real friends would suffice. Don’t sell yourself short, ditch those fake friends today, and leave those people you fake being friends with.