Recently I was watching an old re-run of the popular TV Show, The Jerry Springer Show, and I even though for the most part I was heavily amused by the fighting and pathetic display by some guests on the show, something got to me. A good number of the cases that were brought on the show had to do with cheating partners; while this seems like an already over-flogged issue, I really can’t fight the urge to say a thing or two about what I think.
A good number of young people these days believe that whatever is worth working at is best abandoned, and as such, when the real hard work that normally accompanies achieving something great comes knocking, we come up with a string of excuses as to why we have to jump ship. While this ideology might not necessary be transferred to the work environment, I have come to realize that it is one that prevails in interpersonal relationships. These days, people keep friends for various purposes, all aimed at serving them in different capacities on their way up the proverbial ladder of success; sadly, only a few people still maintain long standing friendships just for the sake of comradeship. The most painful relationship I have found that most youths are quick to abandon is Marriage.
For a while now, I have read articles and seen video clips that further increase my fear for the future of my generation and the ones after mine. For instance, on the JS show, there was a case regarding a young man whose wife had just had a kid, barely three months after the birth of the child, the young man had already started an affair with another lady (a stripper to be precise). Whenhe was asked why he decided to cheat on his wife, he began to talk about how his wife no longer listened to him, how she would ask him to turn out the lights because she didn’t want him to see her body, and all sorts of flimsy excuses. All I kept thinking was, “this dude needs to be slapped across the head”. Oh, I forgot to mention that as soon as the stripper came on set, (she had been invited on the show), she began to yell at the wife (who had been cheated on) telling her how she wouldn’t provide a listening ear to her man and how she (the stripper) had filled in that void ( and she allowed him fill her Vagina with is dick too). Well, while I believe that a large part of the JS show is scripted, I want to say, these things really happen. There are ladies out there who have made it a point of duty to prey on married men who have a roving eye, and they tend to make him ‘comfortable’ and provide a seemingly safe escape for him from his ‘marital turmoil’ (as some men seem to think arguments in a marriage is); now in some cases, a right thinking man would be careful enough to shield his wife from the atrocities he commits, however some are just so careless they let the “ale” meet the “iyawo ile” and thoroughly disrespect the mother of their children.
I am not a feminist, but I can say the average man is indeed very selfish. Most men want to eat their cake and have it; imagine knocking up your wife, she carries your child for 9 months, and you decide to go out banging all things in a skirt just because she can’t have sex with you in the first few months after child birth? You begin to tell the world she nags, labeling her with all sorts of tags just because you want to roam unfettered, getting into other women’s pants? More disgusting are the women who allow such men take advantage of their bodies; truth is a stray dog would always return to its owner, so where does that live your home wrecking pussy? Why waste your time providing a ‘listening ear’ to a man who only wants to pop your cherry and make a run for it? And even if you succeed in getting him to leave his new family for you, aren’t you ashamed of the story you would have to tell your own children in the future? Or you have not been acquainted with the saying “Karma is a Bitch”?
I think the young people of this generation should really stop going into relationships or marriages just because it has fast become a fad, instead, we should go into relationships because we are ready for the level of responsibility it would demand of us. If you are a product of a stable home and you are reading this, I am certain you would agree with me that your parents did not have a smooth ride in their union, but what makes us admire them is the maturity they displayed through misunderstandings and the devotion they showed towards upholding the essence of “Family”. Most young people feel there is a limit to what they can endure in a relationship, even one that has led to the alter and produced several offspring; why marry someone you know you cannot stand in the long run? I am well aware of the fact that people change, but there is a certain level tat which you are at ease with a person that makes you feel you can have a life with them. It is not enough to aspire to have your wedding photos up on Bellanaija weddings, you should be matured and emotionally strong enough to stay married. Most importantly, do not go into relationships if you cannot stay faithful, because even though you try to convince yourself that you would become faithful when you eventually get married, old habits die hard. Decide what you want to be, do you want to be in an open relationship where you can come and go and share your ‘love’ with various partners and never settle with one? Or do you want to be with one person and grow to love them for who they are? Remember that the offspring you would have would be greatly influenced by your life, live it right.
I am not a relationship expert, I am only a keen observer of life, and I don’t think I need a B.Sc in Psychology or be versed in the knowledge of Behavioral patterns on paper to be able to tell that a whole lot of people have become selfish in the bid to live “Free”. The moment we begin to learn to be patient and tolerate one another, the longer relationships would last and the healthier we all would be.