The past week has been a mixture of highs and lows for me, having shed tears uncontrollably one day after the other, and found what looked like a new life during this time, i’d say I have been living a a page out of a novel. Some people are so beautiful inside and outside that the thought of anything bad happening to them could rip one to shreds emotionally. I remember my days in what my mother began to call “The land of the unknown”, where I had no family, no friends, no one to call my own, save the federal government run parastatal that brought me there. These people, bless their hearts, took me in, they fed me, they burned their fuel for me, they took care of me. They had no prior knowledge of who I was, they were not weary of the fact that I was an eerily quiet young person who loved my own company so much, they tried all they could to bring me out into the light, during what I thought was my darkest hour. They cared for me.
It was very devastating to hear that these beautiful people were no more, husband and wife, father and mother, gone within the twinkle of an eye. Taken away from life like they had not paid their dues to it, snatched off the earth like they had not even been here. I wondered how their children felt; for me, it was like I could not understand how the world worked anymore. I mean, these were good people, why take them at the prime of their lives? At the time when they ought to sit back and enjoy all the fruits of their dealings with life? Why?. I asked questions, and I shed a lot of tears, it was unbearable. It was only three months before I lost my best uncle to the cold hands of death; a beautiful soul he was, my “starmate”…. 😦 Then Paul Walker had to go, Nelson Mandela too, and then I read of another beautiful soul I did not know, she must have been really good, because the grief was contagious as I read through the tweets they induced.
Now I think, what is life? Why are we here? I feel like I am one of several mice in an unending maze that could be yanked out of it for an experiment at any given time. There is no warning, no alarm, just the hurt and pain it leaves behind. Are we not born to die? Is that not why we live? To die? The new life I thought I had, that too had to go, because the earth if filled with a lot of things we can look at but cannot have. What is life? Why are we here? I do not know. All I can do is hope that when it is time, I would be in the right.