The average human being has the tendency to entertain feelings of inadequacy at one point or the other of their life. Among young people, the feeling of inadequacy is perhaps one of the most prevalent feelings that creeps into the heart of the latter. There is always that thought somewhere in one’s head about how suitable one feels with his or her position in society and in general, the scheme of things. We are all to familiar with the high school movies and situations made popular by the thoughts or experiences of other people written on paper and enacted on screen in the western hemisphere…. There are stories of the “cool kids” the “nerds” the high school sweethearts basically….. The kids everyone loves because they are talented in one sport or the other….
In Nigeria, it really is not any different, as an average young person, one is faced with the various hardships life as a nigerian child brings on its own…. now, if you were not fortunate enough to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth, chances are you would have a difficult life than any of your contemporaries who come from privileged backgrounds… Now, imagine a scenario, a child is born into a family that barely affords to have three meals a day (i mean meals that are nourishing); his/her parents scrapes the little they can for a living, put it together and send such a child to a private school. Here the child who is used to eating only one meal a day comes into contact with a child that is privileged enough to have even more than three meals a day and probably gets to brunch as much as he/she wants…. Definitely such a child would have his/her “kind” enrolled at such a school since it is a private school, and as such the “cliques” are formed. The child from the struggling home becomes overwhelmed by the affluence evident in the life of his peers and this either spurs the child to become better than his/her parents, or drop the child deeper into the abyss of insecurity. The child most likely becomes a recluse, and only speaks when spoken to and would probably would not come off any better than the child whose parents just resigned to fate and sent their kid to a public school.
The reason for this rather lengthy illustration is not far fetched….. There is a serious imbalance in the society, and it weighs the heaviest on our children ( i don’t have a child), these are supposedly the future of our dear country….. That feeling of insecurity is that which haunts the child for most of his/her life, and as such the child probably grows up to be a professional “ass-kisser” or is able to hew enough from this rather tight situation to become someone of substance in life. The feeling of inadequacy thus lives in the hearts of the average youth….. The prevalent question in the hearts of the majority thus becomes, “how do i rise above this?” “how do i make my life better without resorting to vice?” “how do i join the ogas at the top?”…..
My answer is really simple…. (ok, not so simple, but simple)… Think about it, there have been stories right from the day you were born (regardless of what religious group you belong to) about the divine one who is in charge of your existence. Basically, there is some dude up there somewhere that gives a shit about what your sojourn in life is going to look like….. You have come to believe in these stories even when the world around you fails you every passing day…. Believe therefore, that you are beautiful.. I don’t really mean you are good looking (if you aint please don’t fool yourself)…. But the truth is you are beautiful…. The way your life would pan out is quite different from the way that of the next person would…. There is no hard and fast rule to the way life unfolds, even if you were a soothsayer or the product of the loins of one, your life would not stray from the predestined path it was meant to trod…..
As a young person, the best way to fight feelings of inadequacy is to really console yourself with the fact that you would die someday…. If at the end of your toil on earth, you are still going to leave it all behind, why let the fact that someone else is “cooler” than you or ahead of you worry you? Personally, i have come to realize that embracing the idea of the day of death which is inevitable is the first step to overcoming inadequacy….
Believe in the fact that you are indeed beautiful … and maybe, just maybe your life would turn out well….. The pressure on us as young people is indeed high, in fact as a Nigerian youth the pressure is two-fold…. We expect so much from ourselves, and the whole world around us expects more from us… The generations before us made a mess of the scheme of things and expect us to make head and tail out of the debris…. We would get there… We would make it…. But do not push yourself more than you can handle….. The beauty in you as person is peculiar to you and as such you should not expect more than you can do for yourself……
Hopefully people like me would not have to keep writing incoherent ramblings such as this to keep ourselves sane…… Remain Beautiful.. (I know i am)…..