Without a doubt this has got to be the most difficult predicament for anyone. Imagine wandering away into the darkness of the day, staring at the road and following it the ways it leads. You walk in the light, guided by the darkness, and yet you stumble… There is no telling what could happen, no forecast, nothing. You grope in the daylight even when your sight has not failed you…. You are overwhelmed by the growing sense of insecurity that threatens to consume you. You walk in the light, but can not see, the darkness is your ally, yet it can only help you as much as you allow it. There is a shrill cry in the distance, pain untold but framed in the throes of agony, you hear it, yet pretend that it did not come from you. You yearn to calm it down…. To tell it to keep the peace, be quiet….. Take time to reflect on the sound of pain….. It remains the same… Frightened, you race through the light…. guided by the power of the darkness… You see, the stories untold, the lost child in the soul’s mind, searching, waning, wanting…. There is no end to this pain, it is deep, unexplainable… excruciatingly so…..

   There was a time when you could find your way, you could hold up a light and dispel the darkness, chase it back where it belongs, stay sane… There was none that could scare you away from the path you knew was yours… You were cocksure, very aware, you knew. The path was never hazy to you….. The light of day was your guide and darkness you only obliged for the direst of times…… What happened then? Where did you go wrong…. At what juncture did you stray from the light into the dark…. At what point did you allow the boogie man take over your thoughts…. You strolled along the paths laid out in front of you with gusto and pride… now all that has faded away, the moon shines all around the clock…. the sun has gone to hide… its cold, its dark…its all sorts of wrong….

    You knew the day would come… You stood brave, unafraid… Slowly but steadily you seamed them together…. Out and about, you knew you were going to work hard enough to get out of this fright…. The sandman visited you… in the visions that clouded your nights you saw you… glorious in escape…. chains broken… you soared into the night like icarus on the wings you created…. Alas, the night turned to day… the sun came up…. unable to withstand it, your icarus fell down to earth… the sandman played a dirty trick on you…. it really was not him…. the boogie man sought to bring your fears alive in your happiest of visions…. the day would never come… it continues to elude you….. 

  There was a time when i knew what it was i was… There was a time when i thought the world was as perfect as i made it seemed. You see, i had it all planned in my head… the thoughts i still remember like it was yesterday. Unlike you, who say it has never been about me… I would say it has been about you. The day you surfaced was perhaps the day i fell to earth…. The dreams of glory and honor, the days of mors ante infamiam.. the days where heads were held up high… those days are gone now….. you killed the dreams… you were the boogieman to my dreams…. walking in the light all  i see is darkness…. sadly.. it doesn’t end here…. it continues still….. The end is nigh… for what though? the end of me? i would not know now….. i may never know…..


3 thoughts on “Lost.

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