In a multitude of people, there is always that one person that believes they are good. It could be me, because I am writing this blog. It could be you, because you might read this blog and judge my motives for writing it immediately. It could be anybody. Everyone has something that makes them peculiar, and trust me, the easiest way to discern this would be to go closer to the people around you. I have noticed something though, when you bring several people together in what people who believe in the social convention know as “friendship”, you discover that they all think they are an authority on what you might be. Personally I have studied quite a few people, and here is what I have come up with.
One. A “friend” can only know as much about you as you tell them. Now, this submission is quite acceptable if you ask me. Most people are not really interested in you as a person, all they really care about is the things they might get from you. And so along the way on this well trod road of “mutual benefits”, you begin to give little bits and pieces of information that this “friend” takes in hook, line and sinker. The moment there is an argument or a bone of contention between you and the latter, you’d begin to discover that your “friend” knows as much about you as you have told him/her. In which case, you are safe. Because they have been able to use their “abilities” to summarize what it is they think they know about you.
Two. Controlling what a “friend” knows about you keeps you safe. As I said earlier, there are people who only thrive on what you tell them. They are not really interested in knowing the real you. So you feed them bits and pieces which to them constitutes all you are. At this point, they are unsuspecting and believe they can be judgmental when talking about you, either to you, or to a third party. They believe that from what you have told them, your life might not be as pristine as theirs and so they stand on the “hallowed dais” and pronounce judgment on you when they feel they can and should. All you can do, if you are wise, is watch them and laugh inside as they reel out their rather misinformed collation of “facts” and pretend like it matters to you. At least here you’d know whether you have a “good” “friend” or you don’t. Either way, good luck to you.
Three. The Best Friends are never satisfied with what you feed them. Yes, really they aren’t. They are the ones who dig deep, who seek to go with you on the “adventures” that might have characterized your tales..either those of woe or success. They shy away from passing judgment on you and would always be the ones to tell you you might have missed one or two parts of your tale when you rehash an old line to a “new” friend. You see, they know you, sometimes more than you know yourself, and they are the ones who feel they have an obligation to protect you from your “friends” whose only knowledge of you is dependent on what you have told them. These are the ones that are hard to find. Very rare, and personally, I have only a few. They watch you, study you, sometimes for years, and they can tell when there is a change in your tale…. They know you. These are the real friends.
So how good are you? Especially to that person on whom you are always quick to pass judgment? Are you one of those who think you know? When you don’t really know anything?. Are you one of those who carry on thinking they are better than the next person and so they have some unwritten certification to pass judgments on others?. Do you know a person enough to decide that you are indeed better than them?. The truth is we need a good dose of the two of these sort of people in our lives. The ones whose words we take with a grain of salt, and the ones who honestly give us opinions and not judgments on what we are doing wrong. In the end, we would find them all useful.
One piece of advice though, you alone can control what people think about you. So know what you say to people. It makes life exciting to see how ridiculous some people could actually sound when acting like they have a clue.
P.S: Opinions aint Fact, take ’em in and let ’em go….
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